There was a pit in my stomach. It was the kind that makes you nauseous. I climbed into bed hoping that sleep would take care of it. This pit was one caused by exhaustion, after all. Tomorrow was going to be a long, busy day. I just needed some sleep.
I got up early and as I drove to my first appointment, I thanked God that sleep had helped. I wasn’t so tired and the pep in my step had returned. I could tell that, in spite of filling my car with gas at 9:45 last night, my energy reserves were running low. The pep probably would probably be gone before noon. I didn’t expect that the heaviness in my heart rather than fatigue would be what tripped me up. That happened before 9am.
It’s 3pm right now and so far every event in my schedule has reminded me of the reality of evil in the world. The atrocities of the Rwandan genocide. The exploitation of people by the leaders entrusted with their leadership and care in Sudan. The trafficking of human lives taking place all over the globe. Mothers forced to walk for 2 hours over treacherous roads to get dirty water – the only water available – for their families….then 2 hours back with the heavy jugs…..repeat 3 times a day.
I am thankful for days like today. These times with the reality of the brokenness in our world actually seeps through the outer shell of my too-often-calloused heart. Don’t get me wrong, I am not hopeless. I am motivated. Facing the tragedies and injustices are necessary for me to experience compassion that leads to engagement. That is the way of Jesus. He sees the reality of our hearts and He did something about it – He gave His life to make a difference. I want to follow in the footsteps of my Lord.
Mother Teresa said, “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.” While this is true, the amazing thing is that God takes those “small things” done with great love and uses them to do great things in the lives of others.
When it comes down to it, I don’t want that pit to go away. As long as there are injustices in the world, as long as there are people in need, I want to be engaged. Because I know great love, I want to do what I can which is small things with that great love.