Have you ever seen such a parking job?! Isn’t that beautiful? I wish you could have seen me in action! It was text book. One time in reverse then a slight adjustment forward. No hitting the curb, no sweat, no tears. You could have barely fit a sheet of paper between the curb and the gigantic tires. The car rental company in Colorado knew this Texas girl could handle a king-cab Silverado. Thanks to my Texas mom who taught me how!
Weeks like this I get a thrill out of small things like crushing a challenge to park a pickup. You see, I have about 3 urgent projects going on at work that make this truck look like playing with Matchbox cars. Personal assessment tools like Birkman have taught me that when I get stressed out, I act out in unusual ways. Normally I don’t care about details and I am not a drill sergeant, however, when backed into a tense corner, I come out swinging at gnats! ORDER! I want order and I start to order others around me. It isn’t pretty.
Normally, I get my craving for order filled by playing a hand of solitaire or putting the dishes away. I get closure in doing laundry or cooking a yummy meal. Every once in a while, though, I turn into a “stress sergeant” and go on a tirade. I can see it in the reactions of those around me. Rather than enjoying the sweet Fruit of the Spirit, they slapped with my sin.
That happened to me this week. I was in a meeting that was going well until my agenda item came up. I thought it was going to be straight-forward and simple. The further along we went, the farther we got from closure. Before I knew it, I was clamping down and stressing out. As soon as it was over, several of my friends reached out to me to make sure I was ok – yet another sign that my sin affects others, whether I like it or not. I am so grateful for coworkers who love me even when I am unlovable!
As I reflected back, I saw the root issue, my response and the affect it had on others. Processing with a friend, she encouraged me to write an email to the people in the meeting to give them some insight and understanding. I also needed to ask their forgiveness. Sound scary? It was a little, but the result was worth it! Forgiveness was granted, relationships were restored, and freedom is found! I am so thankful.
It feels better than parking a big truck in a tight space.
What is your stress behavior? How can you tell when you are not being controlled by God’s Spirit?