Last week was “Shark Week.” As if you didn’t already know that. I have a confession to make: I don’t really know what “Shark Week” is, but everyone’s talking about it. As a result, I had sharks on the brain.
Being as it was “Shark Week” I decided to take a short vacation in a land-locked area. My parents and I went to a friend’s farm house just outside Dallas. It is a nice, quiet, restful place. That’s because there are no sharks there. It does have a swimming pool.
With the scorching heat we experienced last week in Texas, it really didn’t help to go swimming during the day. So, for the 3 days that we spent out at the farm, I made a habit of swimming in the morning and in the evening. The water was not quite cool, but not as warm as bath water. It was relaxing.
The last night of our stay, I was swimming in the pool, thinking about “Shark Week.” Since, as I mentioned before, I don’t really know what that means, I started thinking about ocean survival skills. The scenario in my mind had me lost at sea, all alone, with no floating device. I needed to come up with a plan!
The scariest threat would be sharks and other preying creatures. I couldn’t really think of a strategy to ward them off, so I decided I would just have to pray and rely on the fact that God has numbered my days. There wasn’t much more I could do.
Next on the list of survival tasks was this one: Don’t Drown! Since I was stranded out at sea without a floating device, my best bet was just to float on my back. I started floating, trying to expend as little energy as possible. I was wondering how long I would be able to keep this up. Since it didn’t take much energy, I figured that staying awake would be my greatest concern. Could I keep this up for a day? 2? 3? This wasn’t going to be easy.
At this point, my mother walked out of the farmhouse and to dip her toes in the pool. I didn’t tell her it was “Shark Week” or that I was trying to survive being stuck in the middle of the ocean. No need to cause her stress.
As we enjoyed the water, I noticed a bird flying above the pool. It was a very small bird with interesting habits. As I looked closer, I noticed it was not a bird at all. It was a BAT! Relieved that it wasn’t “Bat Week,” I pointed the bat out to my mother. We continued to chat and keep a nervous eye on the bat. Of course it was harmless, but IT WAS A BAT.
My mom decided that she wanted to get in the pool, so she left to put on her suit. In retrospect, I am sure that she was thinking that she would rather be in the water with a bat flying overhead than sitting on the ledge, completely exposed. She left me to pick up my task of surviving in the ocean. Where was I?
As I was floating, trying to focus on survival, I felt something long and slender slide from my shoulders, up around my head, and back down to my shoulders. Was it a shrieking eel? A snake? What should I do?!?!?!?! I decided to come back to reality and push the pool vacuum hose away from my head. It was just a distraction from the task at hand.
My mother returned and got in the pool. We resumed our observation of the bat. We were noticing that the bat had gotten lower and lower. That translates to closer and closer. He was about 12 feet above the pool. To relieve the nervous tension we were both feeling, I asked, “Do you think he’s coming to suck our blood?” “Yes,” my mother stated frankly, “Yes, he has.”
Did I mention that it was “Shark Week”?
The next thing that happened was completely unexpected. Even living in ocean survival mode would not prepare me for this.
Suddenly, my mother screamed in a terrifying panic. She started thrashing in the water and nearly crashed her face against the rocky edge of the pool. “It bit me! Oh! Oh! Oh! It bit me!”
Let’s press “PAUSE” and discuss our options. What bit my mother and what happened next?
If you already know the story, please refrain from commenting. If you don’t know, tell me what you think. I promise I will tell you the rest of the story once I get at least 5 good attempts at guessing.